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There are no universally coherent doctrines for aunt pearl-clutcher to enforce, but only ones that require her to pick a side. The drive to pull the aunts into one’s circle therefore appears to be doomed to be a partisan one.

You seem to be searching for a mechanism by which to promote modus vivendi, which was at least historically offered on liberalisms menu, at least by liberals in the Isaiah Berlin vein.

The problem you have identified above is that auntie needs to enforce something, and modus vivendi, with its compromises, and constant adjustments, asks too much of her. She can play an instrument, but lacks the ambition of a composer or conductor.

I see Nozick’s side constraints as offering a solution to this problem. Live and let live, but never, ever X. We get toleration and space for private selves and networks and she gets to call us out when we cross a clearly defined boundary.

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